We live in a time where our sense of identity is shaped by our surroundings. The culture in which we live in doesn’t make it easy for someone who is trying to gauge their sense of self from the ever changing trends either. There are so many moving parts in our society today that it often leaves people drained and unable to define with a sense of deep conviction who they are.There is a pull to please others, to be liked by many and this always comes at the expense of one’s true identity. We are so pre-occupied with labels and we lose the individuality that our identity confers.
Everyone of us at some point in our lives have been faced with the question of Identity. In a world where people identify themselves by a preference or whatnot, let me be one of the many voices out there to shock you that your preference doesn’t in any way speak to who you are. Preferences are just that, your inclinations. They are influenced by our environment and they can be fleeting and because it is so temporary, it is not stable and will lead to more confusion.
For a long time, I struggled to Know me. I mean, I knew my name, I knew my likes and dislikes, I knew my heritage (Omo Yoruba to the core), but something was amiss. There was a void that all these ‘knowings’ still did not fill. These did not bring joy of fulfillment. I knew that what was missing would bring that joy that I so desperately needed.
I struggled with low-self esteem and feeling worthless, because I centered my identity on things that I wanted to achieve and when I didn’t achieve those things, the questions of who I was began to ring very loudly in my ear. There was a lot of internal turmoil in the discovery of who I am.
Being a wife and a mother to 4 young children, I felt like I was loosing me. I didn’t just want to be the wife of my husband and the mother of my children, which by the way there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. But I knew there was something deeper and of greater meaning to me. I wanted to be able to pass on to my children the strength and courage that confidence in one’s identity brought. I didn’t want them to struggle with the thoughts that plagued and crippled me for years. I wanted them to have a better head start. I knew that in finding me, I would be a better mother to them and a better wife to my husband, Apart from what I would be to my family, I wanted also to be better for Me. And I must say that I am a better parent. I love them better because I am loved deeply by ABBA. There is a saying that goes “ You can’t give what you don’t have” and that is exactly what the love of Christ has done for me.
Who I am is centered on the Finished work of Christ. It is an identity that remains constant through the test of time. One that was defined before the foundations of the World and one that will remain when the world is no more. It is that I am a SON in the kingdom of ABBA. God is my Father and I am joint heirs with Christ. This is a Knowing that is sure in the innermost parts of me that whatever I go through in this life, this never changes. My position before the Father never changes. I am His forever and He is mine. I am loved by HIM and my future is safe and secure in Him. In this I cannot be moved.
I want you to know this as well. The journey to this discovery will be different for many people. Although I grew up in church, this revelation of the love of ABBA was not introduced to me until when I began to seek it out…. I was exposed more to the judgement of ABBA, which I must say is a warped and distorted view of God that has led many people to a place of confusion, and pushed people away from the one who can give them the answers they so desperately need, but we will talk more about that later. I often felt like I was an imposter for not knowing and it brought shame. Shame that kept me further from the truth. But when I had come to the end of my self and was tired of the unrest within me, I was ready to surrender all to ABBA. His love washed over my soul and I could feel His warm embrace grip my heart. It is a such a tangible love like no other.
He saw me with the eyes of love and He continues to do so. He reminds me daily that nothing can separate me from His love. He tells me that I am worthy because He sent His son to die for me. He tells me that I can come boldly before Him and shame has no power over me anymore, however I had to accept this Truth. It is one thing to be given a gift, it is another thing to stretch out your hands and take that gift. I stretched out my hand in faith and I have never known such a love as deep and real as this.
So the answer of who you are will never be found in the pages of a book, although a book could do its best to lead to you to where the answer could be. The answer will never be found in the things that you do, even the things that bring you happiness. Books are too generic for that. You need specificity and who more to give you that assurance than the one who made you, who formed you in the innermost parts and declared that you are fearfully and wonderfully made Psalm 139:14. The answer to Who you are is found in the love of the one who made you
He has good plans for you and His thoughts for you are good and not evil. To give you a hope and a future”….. Jeremiah 11:29
I don’t know what your past was like, what you went through that may have distorted your view of yourself. The voice of that past may be speaking so loudly in an attempt to drown out the voice of hope and there might be a tug of war in your heart in accepting the “identity” that God has called you contrary to what life has created, but let me let you in on a secret. The Voice of LOVE is louder and sweeter. Let ABBA tell you who you are and on the foundation of this Truth you will never again question who you are!
